The Caregiver

If you’ve never had children or provided care for a loved one, you may need to learn a new skill set if you suddenly find yourself in the position of caregiver. I am one of those people who have rarely been a care provider for anyone other than myself. My parents gave my sister and me fiercely independent and entirely self-sufficient examples to follow from very early childhood. Even now, when I want to help my parents with anything, the response is always, “We are fine. We don’t need a thing.”

A few weeks ago, my dear Mr. Mickey had a bad fall and broke his leg. He is now recovering at his home with assistance from his local daughter and me. It has been a hectic time as I learn to attend to his physical, practical, and emotional needs while continuing to manage my own life.

Doing laundry, transporting him to and from doctor appointments, picking up mail and prescriptions, cooking, cleaning, and making sure there are plenty of ready to eat options for when he is fending for himself, are on the list. If your “patient” is using a walker or wheelchair, you will need to rollup or remove all rugs and rearrange the furniture. If need be, remove doors from their hinges so that equipment has ample clearance. It may also be necessary to assemble various medical equipment and set up reminders for times to take any new medications.

Please share in the comments below, any other helpful tips, and useful lessons you’ve learned about how best to care for those you love. Many of us are struggling in this new role during already stressful times.

We enjoyed a few blissful hours of sunshine on Wednesday morning, so I took advantage of temperatures in the seventies to wear some things I bought from Talbots late last summer.

Talbots always offers a variety of high-quality basics that can be mixed and matched. A similar tank is here. A similar cardigan is here. Similar jeans are here.

My bio here includes advertising and gifting details.

Even on a very casual day, I add some jewelry. My Infinity watch is here. (Mention the code, Susan, to get 20% off.) The other items are several years old. Similar braceletringearringsshoesbag

My everyday makeup routine is here.

There is one more crucial thing to add to that list of things a caregiver should do. Take care of your needs and health first. We can’t pour from an empty vessel.

The patient sends his gratitude for all your kind words. He is resting in his sunroom with more gift baskets of wine and food.

Please revisit the blog next week. I’ll be hosting one of my most generous giveaways ever!

189 Comments
  1. Mr. Mickey has been on my mind and in my prayers. Very happy he is home and wishing him a speedy recovery!

  2. My very kind wishes to Mr Mickey, for speedy recovery, and yourself. I very much enjoy following your fashion and beauty.

  3. I know that right now my suggestion isn’t really possible due to social distancing, but under normal circumstances, if you know of a family member, friend or neighbor who is a caregiver, offer even just an hour of your time to sit with or look after the patient (if possible) so that the caregiver can get away for a little bit and have some time to themselves. Caregivers can get so caught up in that aspect of their lives that they have no chance to take any pleasure in the outside world anymore. Of course this probably happens more often when caring for someone who is terminally ill (as my family experienced when my mother had pancreatic cancer) than in a health situation where there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m glad to hear Mr. Mickey is on the mend. He’s fortunate to have loved ones to care for him. Take care, Susan.

  4. I am so glad I came across your blog when this thing started. I look forward to seeing what’s new every day and can’t wait until this thing is over so I can show off my new duds…Your encouragement to dress and have a routine through out this new normal has been so beneficial to me. Your look is just perfect and so classic…and I have to admit before I bought things just willy nilly with no plan or vision now at least I stop and think to myself will I love this next year as much as I do today. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening my eyes to this.

  5. It’s always a treat to wake up and find your blog! As always, you look beautiful and give us great tips.
    Wishing Mr. Mickey a speedy recovery.

  6. Love your classic clothing. About recovery. He may have had OT in rehab and you might know all this. Just suggestions.. a long handled reacher can be very helpful in dressing and reaching for objects safely. Bathroom equipment for safety could include a raised toilet seat (use a bedside commode over the toilet with the bucket removed. It allows for use of the bars for support). Also a tub seat or bench. Supervision during showering may be necessary. There is a high risk of falls in the bathroom.
    A basket and cup holder on the walker helps to transport things safely. Encouraging independence helps with confidence and self worth. Preventing blood clots by moving.. more than just to the bathroom. Suggesting a schedule for activity and increasing endurance provides structure and a sense of accomplishment. And he’s allowed to nap! Healing requires rest, too! Please take care of yourself.

  7. Good morning. So happy to hear Mr. Mickey is recovering. It is indeed a challenging time. My husband and I moved across country in the middle of this madness. Although I’ve made no comments recently, I always follow you and your amazing style. At 71, I too am determined take care of myself as I can’t help others if I don’t. I appreciate your parents’ comments, I’ve heard that for years.

    I somehow managed, long distance, to take care of mom and dad for many years, traveling back and forth across country to tend to them. At the end of 2018 I had no choice but to place them in a facility. They are currently there and thriving. And of course, now that I’m close, I can’t even see them.

    Some of the things I learned along the way: comfy clothes, easy on and off, all totally washable of course, cotton always. I would buy mom all sample sizes of personal products that she used as her hands no longer could open, or hold, larger containers. I purchased wheelchairs for them that had a “fold down seat” so that they could comfortably sit down when they felt tired. As you stated, removing ALL rugs was essential. When dad had his stroke, I placed a shower chair inside his shower stall. They lived in a very old home; so there was no seating in the shower as there is in current homes. I used Amazon Pantry A LOT. And of course as this was all before COVID 19; I used many services from the local grocery stores and restaurants to provide meals for them. Someone did suggest a basket with a cup holder, which is also essential. Also, a cross body bag, for both of them, to keep their cell phones handy. Dad ended up with a bag that secured around his waist, that was easier for him to negotiate. Both their phones were programmed with essential numbers.

    Its definitely a challenge and these times make it more so. I so look forward to your posts! It always inspires and brightens my day.

  8. God speed Mr. Mickey! As I tell my patients…Move it or lose it! Thank you Susan for keeping your “gotta get it done” attitude through all this craziness. We all need it.

  9. My fiercely independent husband has hip and knee replacement and I found myself in a similar situation. I kept a detailed notebook for medications and therapies. Doctors always ask and a written record was so helpful. We also found that a macho nail apron tied to the front of his walker provided storage and hid tubes and medications from view. Prayers for you both.

  10. What a great way to start the day with a picture of a smiling, healing Mr. Mickey. We wish him and you a speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing.

  11. My situation as a caregiver is different than yours as my oldest daughter is multiply and severely disabled. I cared for her at home for 28 years until we found a wonderful group home to care for her. Taking a notebook to each appointment with doctors or therapists to write things down is helpful so you can remember instructions and information exactly. Also take a written list of all medications and dosages to every appointment. Asking for help so you can get some time off is imperative for your mental and physical health. Burn out is real. The only other suggestion I have is if you have to assist him getting up and down, make sure you lift properly. Protect your back. Best wishes and speedy recovery to Mr. Mickey.

  12. Have thought so much about you Susan and am familiar with the journey you and Mr. Mickey are on. With all that you are dealing with, your audience appreciates more than you know your taking the time to post a visit with us. Mr. Mickey looks great and I hope he continues to grow stronger every day. Best Wishes!

  13. Hi Susan,
    Just a tip on the doors-most walkers will fit through a standard door, but you may need to change the wheels from outside the walker frame to inside the frame. They screw off easily. Ask to have an occupational and physical therapist evaluate the home and your equipment. Yes, it’s a big leap to be a caregiver, but do your best, ask for help from therapists and keep your sense of humor! My husband has had 14 orthopedic surgeries, including 5 joint replacements, so I’ve been there, but I’m also an RN, so I’m a caregiver by profession. Every week you will see progress. And take advantage of telemedicine to do online medical and therapy visits when you can! Good luck!

  14. Wow Mr. Mickey looks terrific! I’d suggest a pad and pen nearby so he can jot down things he might need as well as ideas/worries as he thinks of them. Writing down a worry or a “to do” list helps ease the mind so he can get the necessary rest. No lying awake afraid you might forget something once you record the idea. If he doesn’t already have one, this is a great time to learn the iPad! Also if he enjoys reading, a Kindle is so much easier to prop up than a book. Happy healing, so glad you are reunited!

  15. Home sweet home! What a phrase especially after all Mr. Mickey has been through. I’ve found patience and cooperation is key to everything going smoothly. Hoping for a speedy recovery. Love is patient and kind. Xxoo

  16. So glad to see Mr. Mickey’s smiling face, attitude is everything during any recovery.
    We downsized to a condo in August, our house sold in three days and off we went to a place that needed quite a bit of work, things we usually do ourselves. Three months later my husband was diagnosed with cancer, lots of doctor appointments and then in January he began chemo. . I learned you have to let go, you can’t do everything. I found help to finish the projects we had started and then let the rest of it go. We can’t have workers in because of the virus and my husband’s fragile health. Every morning I do breathing exercises, stretches and I try to do a short yoga practice three times a week and lots of walks with the dog no matter the weather, getting out, even briefly helps immensely.
    Here’s to a quick recovery for Mr. Mickey and continued strength for both of you.

  17. So good to see Mr. Mickey! I know that you are bringing sunshine to him as he recovers. Wishing him a quick recovery.

  18. Mr Mickey is lucky to have you. Yes, do take care of yourself. I’m sure it is also hard on him to rely on others for his care. With all of the love and support, he should be up and going soon. Hope you are doing well

  19. So glad to see Mr. Mickey home and smiling. I know that between his daughter and yourself he will get the best of care. It is a privilege to give care. However as others have said, it can be very tiring. When you are exhausted just remember he is on the mend, and this is a temporary situation. All the best for a full and quick recovery for him, and thanks for sharing his photo today. Hugs to you both.

  20. Susan-
    Best wishes to you, Mr. Mickey and his daughter. I would just say that accessing one’s sense of humor during a challenging time can be very helpful.
    Don’t minimize what feels difficult but enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh as often as you can!
    Will be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers- you’ve got this, girl!
    Faithful reader

  21. Happy to see that Mr. Mickey is on the mend and has both your support and that of his daughter. It’s hard to believe that he is in his mid-80’s. I’m sure that his previously active lifestyle will be an asset as he progresses with his rehab and recovery. Best wishes to you both!

  22. Seeing Mr Mickey’s smile just brightened my day! He is a real trouper! Miss Susan, you are so right…”we can’t pour from an empty vessel”. You look fabulous and I’m sure Mr Mickey was happy to see you. Sending up continued prayers for you both.

  23. God bless you both, Susan. I’m glad you added self-care toward the end of your blog. It is the most important.

  24. Obviously, you’ve got your hands full! After going through my mom’s broken hip and subsequent dementia, I have a couple of suggestions in addition to those I’ve seen here. Allow and encourage Mr. Mickey to do as much (even a little more) than you may think he can. It may be frustrating to you both, but it will allow him to gain strength and come up with his own modifications, plus foster a sense of accomplishment and independence that he may not be feeling yet. The notebook is a great idea, and maybe also a whiteboard. Keep yourself strong and healthy – you are correct that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. Best wishes to both of you!

  25. So glad to see that Mr. Mickey is on the road to recovery. Being home makes a world of difference.
    I’ve had multiple surgeries and the most important advice is to write down medications and doctor’s instructions. I also found a bag that hangs from a walker was very helpful during my recovery. I could put my phone and other items I needed when I moved around in the house. I found loose fitting clothing to be the best while convalescing too.
    Make sure you take care of yourself too, Susan.

  26. Sweet photo of Mr Mickey! Be well soon, Sir! Continuing prayers from me for both of you, Susan and Mickey!

  27. I took care of my father for 2 years before he went into Veteran’s Home. Good advice to yourself Susan! Any help you two can get from Home Health, please do it. They have showering/ bathing help, housecleaning, etc. Hopefully the Dr can have physical therapy at his house. During this virus time I dont know if this is ok but there is so much help out there for you and his daughter. Prayers for you all!❤

  28. Best wishes to Mr. Micky. My husband, Greg, who is 77 also had a fall last week. No breaks, but plenty of bruises and lots of aches. I guess this goes along with this stage of our lives. Lits of hugs.

  29. Susan, I found that with my very independent mother, the best thing I did was observe. Sounds strange but had I gone charging in there would have been an immediate barrier. It is too easy to show a strong hand to a person who has been independent all their life. After observing I had discussions with her and suggested that she had help with having baths, but that she didn’t need help with getting a meal or a drink. This went down very well as it showed my mother that I had thought about her and her needs, still remaining as independent as possible . She has improved leaps and bounds since she has had partial help, mentally and physically. Best wishes to you both.

  30. It is good to see Mr. Mickey looking so chipper…..although a little more casual than we are accustomed to seeing him. One think I learned after my husband had knee surgery is to keep necessary items near the location where you will use them. I had to give him injections for infection so I had all the needles and medication by the chair where he sat when I gave them. Items necessary for bathing were right next to the tub instead of on the counter. Even saving a couple of steps helps and you don’t have to go looking for whatever supply you need. Best wishes for his continued recovery. And you are right about Talbots. I have items from there I purchased years ago.

  31. You look great! Being a caregiver can be challenging and also rewarding. I am a long distance care giver for my Mother. I arranged through a health care Agency to have caregivers each day/evening to administer meds, prepare meals and assist with daily hygiene. I also looked around her home for potential dangers as she uses a walker. All throw rugs had to be picked up as potential hazards. Also having clear paths to accommodate walkers and/or canes. The use of strategically placed night lights is very helpful. Having items Mr. Mickey may use on a nightstand would be convenient such as water, books, meds, clock etc. Maybe a bell? Also a chair or bench in the shower as well as grab bars. You’ve got this and all the best to his complete healing!

  32. Wishing Mr. Mickey a speedy recovery! I’ve been working full time as an elementary school teacher while caring for my 89-year-old mother for several years now. I live with her. This time of quarantine has helped me greatly because I’m not too tired from my job to take care of Mama. She’s used a walker for many years now. We had to take the doors off the bathrooms. I haven’t used the bathroom or showered in a closed bathroom for years now.

  33. What I found important for my dad was appropriate indoor shoes to help eliminate the chance of tripping. That will be dependent on the type of floor surfaces. My dad’s house had hardwood, tile and broadloom, so it took trying more than a dozen pair of shoes to find the ones that worked best.
    Best wishes to Mr. Mickey for a speedy recovery.

  34. When I was recovering from complications from surgery on a broken ankle a few years ago, my husband and I were the recipients of a Meal Train started by one of my neighbors. We gave information about the kinds of foods we enjoyed as well as specific foods we disliked or had allergies to, and how frequently we wanted deliveries. This was a huge help for my husband who was suddenly faced with doing all the chores, both inside and out and handling my medical issues as well. Meal trains can also be used to arrange for things like volunteer yard care, errands such as picking up medicines, etc.

    I also agree with others who have stated it’s important to encourage Mr. Mickey to do what he can for himself, and then let him do it! My doctor and home health personnel wanted me to do more, but my husband was so nervous about me doing things for myself that I had a hard time getting him to back off and allow me to try. I know it came from a place of love, but was still frustrating.

  35. My parents were also very independent, until the last 6 months of their life. They died 19 days apart. I worked fulltime, took care of them, with the help of home health, and maintained a household with my husband . We had two children still in school. I never regretted it. Thirteen years later, my husband had a health catastrophe that forced his retirement, left him on a Walker, and a few other problems. He had been a very active person so this was doubly hard for him. The best advice I ever received was, “no matter how aggravated you get, have patience.” Again, I have never regretted the care I gave him. You miss them when they are gone.

  36. Oh my, where to begin? Eleven years ago I became my parents care managers, through a series of events. My parents still live nearby, one in assisted living, one in skilled care. It certainly has been a struggle, and my own heath and finances have suffered. Yes, we can not pour out of empty vessels, but the responsibility is huge, with no one else willing to share it sometimes. I found encouragement from some online groups, an incredible geriatric doctor, and friends in the same boat. I had to severely edit my life to gain needed flexibility. The biggest thing, for me, as far as self care, was having time for a clean house, a walk, and an occasional creative outlet. These helped me manage the other personal losses caregivers deal with. May grace, humor and courage be yours as you find yourself in this exhausting situation.

  37. Mr. Mickey, listen to your caregiver!!! Follow rehab instructions and you will be on your feet soon. I love the hints that are printed here. Happy healing.

  38. I’ve always liked the combination of black and white, and your outfit looks great. How nice to see Mr. Mickey up and enjoying the sunroom. Lucky guy to have a beautiful lady to help look after him. Best wishes to him, to you, and to his daughter as well.

  39. Wishing both Mr. Mickey and you a speedy recovery. How wonderful for him that his daughter is there too. I’m sure the three of you make a powerful team!

  40. Glad you are taking good care of Mr. Mickey. As for medication times, you can set timers/alarms on his phone to remind him.

  41. Wishing you a speedy recovery, Mr. Mickey! With such good care, you should be fully recovered in no time!
    Chris Waters

  42. You look beautiful! Being a caregiver is one of the most difficult jobs there Is, and we all learn on the job! You are very correct to be sure and take care of yourself or you can’t help anyone. The pandemic has made this so very much more difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and your dear Mr. Mickey! Hope you are both dining out and enjoying life soon! Thanks for all you do, I have always enjoyed your blog so much and found it so helpful!

  43. A chair outside the shower helped me transfer onto and off the chair/stool inside the shower.
    I found going from sitting to standing a bit terrifying.
    Stepping up and over the shower threshold was also intimidating.

  44. Yes, being a caregiver is not easy. Finding the balance is key. The best is wish for you and Mr Mickey.

  45. So happy to hear Mr. Mickey is on the mend. Not much I can add to all the wonderful tips your readers have shared.

    During difficult times I have found there are many hidden rewards and benefits that only become clear with the passage of time. Be gentle with yourself.

    Thanks for all you do for your readers even in the midst of increased challenges in your own life. Blessings to you and Mr. Mickey.

  46. You both certainly have your hands full navigating this new situation. My mother was extremely independent and, after surgeries, it really got on her nerves to have to constantly ask for things. I got one of her large pretty baskets with a handle that a care giver could move from her bedroom to the family room. We discussed what she might want at night or during the day, with suggestions from both of us ensuring her desires were met. We included tissues, lipstick, lotion, comb, small mirror, water bottle, snack packs, phone book, note pad, cards, pen, book, magazine, charger, tv controller, etc. we put a tv tray beside her chair within easy reach. This gave her more of a feeling of control -she was quite adamant about not needing anything like that but once we set it up she acknowledged that it was very helpful! You two will do just fine and later laugh about your escapades during this time. Take care.

  47. Great to see Mr Mickey’s smiling face resting comfortably at home. Your casual look is perfect and you have me thinking to actually wear the white jeans already in my closet. Best wishes to you both

  48. It sounds as if you have a good handle on this situation. I reaffirm the necessity of taking care of yourself. One additional suggestion when helping male patients is to not “hover” and not ask too many questions about how they are feeling, etc. Just do what you know needs to be done and be an attentive listener.

  49. I have found that encouragement and patience are so important
    . The caregiver needs to remain as upbeat as possible.

    Mr. Mickey looks great so I know you two are taking good care of him.

  50. You look great, and I wish Mr. Mickey a speedy and easy recovery! There are so many good suggestions here, but I will add one thing as I am 10 weeks post op from a total knee replacement. I suggest making a matrix chart, with medications and exercises/activities down the side, and days of the week across the top. The left hand column will include medications (tylenol-8 am, tylenol, 12 noon, etc.) as well as “5 minute walk in house with walker”, vitamins, etc. There are so many details to remember in a recovery, and this kept me on a schedule and made sure we didn’t forget anything. We printed out anew chart every week. Good luck and be well!

  51. My husband has a rare neurological disease. He now is wheelchair bound and I have been caring for him for several years. This means all bathing, toileting, tracheostomy care, dressing etc. First your attitude is everything! This is not about being self sufficient or I’m fine, he really can’t do things! Laugh a lot, humor is essential.

    I do take time for my self but I would do that anyway. Lastly, I love my husband and hope he would have done this for me.

    I am a mother, was a teacher and have cared for many pets so am used to service for others.

    Dot

  52. One major point in all of this is your fantastic smile along with Mr. Mickey’s……Smiles take us a loooong way during these trying times. Hope you manage to keep yours while gritting your teeth sometimes as a caregiver….. Been there, done that, grin!
    Keeping water with a straw handy (in an unbreakable container) is always a good options for patients. Things kept at a lower level is also better for their reach. (meds, snacks, drinks, etc.).
    Good luck to both of you and may this be a short term to endure…. Tell Mr. Mickey, the silver lining is that his leg, when healed, will be stronger than before….
    Sincerely,
    Clara from Iowa

  53. Several years ago our daughter and grandson were in a horrific car accident. They moved in with us for 8 months. We didn’t know if our daughter would ever walk again. I’m happy to report she does walk now there are other issues but I am just thankful we had the energy to take care of them. My faith was what I really held on to during those many months. Do take care of yourself you are not good for anyone including yourself if you are exhausted. Good luck!

  54. Hello Susan! Is there a senior center in your town? They may be able to give you some tips for Mr. Mickey’s recouperation. Also, do you have Meals on Wheels? They will bring one hot meal and one cold meal five days a week to his home. That might take some of the burden off of you and his daughter. Of course, I am not sure they are functioning in this Corona virus era. Finally, in terms of entertainment, check out your local library, especially audio books that he can listen to. Best wishes to both of you for getting through this challenging situation.

  55. Since we have to order from home, did you take your usual size medium in that tank or did you order down or up in size? Thank you in advance.

    All these tips for caregiving are very helpful. I take care of my 95 year old mother in my home. It can be challenging.

  56. You always look wonderful, Susan. Mr. Mickey is blessed to have you and his daughter as his caregivers as his leg heals. The best thing a caregiver can give is love and you have that going for you big time. Take care of yourself too. Best wishes to everyone as we head into May amidst these ongoing challenges.

  57. So sorry for his accident – glad it was not more serious but at our age any broken bone is serious. Wishing him a speedy recovery and you both the best.

    Susan B,

  58. – Get a shower bench; he will feel better
    – get a commode for a few weeks
    – Make a few casseroles and put in covered single serving containers
    – use an insulated mug for soup and cereal
    – Use a travel mug for beverages
    – keep notes about questions or concerns
    – be careful with shoes and slippers
    – enjoy a movie night
    – and a weekly candle lit dinner, of course.
    – be sure to eat enough protein to heal
    – have some relaxing tea an hour before bed.
    – plan your next adventure.
    Take care!

  59. I personally feel the number one virtue in being a caregiver is patience!! The person recuperating or living with an illness has a hard road ahead of them. As a caregiver we often want the person to get better sooner, rather than later, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that you cannot control what will be, only be there to support your love one …

  60. I saw suggestions for keeping a record of medications and treatment but also helpful is a list like a spreadsheet listing each medication, time to take, day of week, etc and boxes to check off. It is not always easy for the busy caregiver or the patient to remember if the medication was taken at the proper time. Did I or didn’t I?

    Also, when I had a back injury my husband moved to another bedroom for my comfort and I had the king sized bed to myself. He put everything I needed in my reach as I could not get up or even stretch to get something out of my reach. He put a power bar on the unused side of the bed so I could plug in my phone and iPad as needed. He also plugged the bedside lamps into the corded device we use for the Christmas tree and placed it on that side of the bed. Instead of stepping on the button to turn off the tree, I pressed the button to turn the lights on and off without reaching for the lamp. I assume you will set alarms on his cell phone or use a watch with alarms for reminders when he is alone again. Best wishes to you both.

  61. Maybe someone already mentioned this, but you likely could get prescriptions delivered. Most pharmacies are doing this (in our area) and it seems pharmacists are encouraging it now with the current situation. It would mean one less errand for you to run, although you probably already have them all filled by now. Blessings upon you both. ❤️

  62. I’ve been both a caregiver and a patient:

    Take all the physical and occupational therapy that is offered. These people help regain all the mobility needed to resume life. Encourage Mr Mickey to log and then ask all questions he has.

    Consider a medical alert necklace for the duration of his recovery. He may have his phone, but if he falls, it may also fall out of reach, but a necklace is always on. This happened to a dear friend and she Laid on the floor for several hours.

    Do as much as possible for oneself AND be willing to ask for help AND accept help. It’s a delicate balance.

    I received a meal train from many friends and enjoyed all the lovely variety of food they brought. I have participated in feeding others in this way too- it is a lifesaver. I wrote thank you notes for every meal received when I was the recipient.

    Best wishes to you both!

  63. Dear Susanna, I wish Mr. Mickey a speedy recovery. I have a question: how can I set up my daily routine so that 24 hours is enough for everything?

  64. Deseo que se recupere pronto
    Para no olvidar ninguna medicación y cumplir el horario, yo hago un horario como los de los colegios, en cada hora y día apunto lo que debe tomar y una vez tomada la medicina la tacho, así me aseguro de no olvidarme

  65. Hey Mr. Mickey, you are looking well indeed. I don’t think I have ever seen him dressed so casually, but I would recognize him by his happy smile. I am sure he was relieved to be home again. Cute caregiver look Susan. You would cheer up any patient‍⚕️

  66. Wishing Mr. Mickey as speedy recovery as possible.Do take care of yourself. My usual thanks for all of your sharing…

  67. Mr. Mickey looks dapper even when he’s convalescing! Prayers for a quick recovery. And prayers for you! Caregiving is not an easy job, even for someone you love!

  68. Well done Susan
    Your ‘patient ‘ looks really happy and cared for..You have also given great advice and tips
    Thankyou
    …,

  69. I hope Mr. Mickey recovers soon. My husband has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and I have been his caregiver for about four years. It is a rewarding, but sometimes stressful job. I hope you do have some health care workers and/or some paid caregivers who are coming to assist you with caregiving. Good luck to both of you!

  70. I’m so happy he is doing great!! Looks great with his basket of goodies!!1 Love the outfit!! Looking fabulous!!!

  71. My husband was non weight bearing for 3 months. He found his office chair (with rollers) was great to use (instead of walker or wheelchair). It rolled with ease through out the house as well as it fit through the door frames. He used his non injured foot to roll about.

  72. So much love to you both!!! Dearest Susan best of luck with this new dimension of your life. Please be sure and enjoy lighthearted movies and reading when you can. I also (having cared for my mom as well as three young children simultaneously!) highly recommend upbeat music!

  73. Best wishes and speedy recovery to Mr. Mickey! As a retired RN and a patient, too, I think what helped me was to be allowed to do what I could on my own. Don’t be too quick to jump up and do things or provide items that he can get or reach or do for himself. It may sound and feel hard hearted, but he needs to be allowed to figure out how and if he can do things for himself or if he may need an assist device for something, for example, a sock tool or a “grabber”; as well as it allows him to build up his stamina and endurance. Anesthesia and idleness takes a toll in strength! PT and OT are SO important!

  74. Hi Susan,
    Thank you for the picture of Mr. Mickey it was great to see him. Wishing a speedy recovery.
    Other than my children Ive never had to be a caregiver. I agree you need to take of yourself first than you will be able to provide care to someone else.
    Your outfits are always on point and I Always learn something new.
    Like other day I enjoy reading your blog and it’s a highlight to by day. This SIP is really starting to wear on my nerves. I have stop doing inside project and starting working on the garden. It nice to feel the wind on my face.

  75. Speedy recovery prayers for Mr Mickey and prayers for you and your role as caregiver. Both jobs, recovery and taking care of, are tough. Stay strong and this too shall pass.

  76. I am care giver to my 99 year old mother, who also lives with my husband & I. It is a lot of work, but remember to take of yourself also. Always look forward to your posts.

  77. So glad to see that Mr Mickey is still wearing his wonderful smile! Your outfit has inspired me to dig into my closet for some similar pieces that I hadn’t thought to wear together before. As always, thank you for the inspiration!

  78. Besides my children growing up, I have taken care of my late husband, his late mother, and my late dad so I know what you’re going through. Your last point was the one I was going to say which is be sure and get enough rest and take care of yourself too. All the best to Mr. Mickey! He looks great!

  79. Susan, you’re already way ahead of most people when they begin Care taking. I helped with my Mom and now my Dad. A wall calendar with plenty of room to write appointments, and medicine schedule is helpful to everyone. Add doc appointments as well. Don’t hesitate to inquire about an excellent CNA who might need extra income and could come by Mr. Mickey’s on her or his way to work and again when leaving, to give early morning meds or assist with showering or dressing. This helped my Dad so much and me too. Plus, it gave him someone else to see and visit with. Best wishes and hope for a great recovery. Take care of yourself. When you get so low, start thinking of the people who have enriched your life. Think of beautiful places which give you peace just remembering. Take a deep breath and be thankful for your health and the beautiful relationship you share with Mr. Mickey.
    Marsha

  80. You don’t look stressed at all Susan! Lovely as always. Wishing you, and Mr Mickey all that brings you happiness, and I know right now a big part of that is healing, and good health for Mr Mickey. God bless you

  81. I’m happy to hear he is home and recovering well. Your outfit looks comfortable but polished…exactly the right image for caregiving!

  82. Hi Susan,
    I feel your pain. My husband has had multiple surgeries- a broken hip, hip replacement, spinal fusion and all I can say is that it is not easy. His care was my focus for years now and to be honest, I am not a good caretaker. But we are both surviving as we move into a more challenging phase now with Parkinson’s and some form of dementia. Getting old is not fun but I enjoy reading your blogs and getting informed about style and fashion. Through this all, he manages to keep his sense of humor which we both need.
    Wishing Mr. Mickey a speedy recovery and you a lot of patience!
    Warmly,
    Sharon

  83. Sounds like you’re doing a great job of a ‘nurse’ best wishes to Mr Mickey for a speedy recovery. I’d have a big smile on too if I had those lovely gift baskets around me.

  84. Susan, as someone who has been both the caregiver and the one who needed care, I think you have this well under control! Good job! I would add though to make sure that plates, silverware, mail, phone, tablet, etc are in places that are easily accessible for him when you are not there. The one thing I really appreciated was having someone who know how to make the bed the way that I like it. Also try to limit company if you can. People are so kind and have the best intentions but the patient also needs rest. Keep up the good work.

  85. Susan you make caregiving look like a beautiful breeze and Mr. Mickey looks as if he is so happy to be home. Continued prayers for a speedy recovery!

  86. My husband was in a bed and then a wheel chair for 6 months. It is not selfish to take breaks, trade off with others for the care of Mr Mickey and to get out for a breath of fresh air and keep yourself grounded. Learn correct ways to lift him so your back and arms stay strong. Best wishes and prayers for you both.

  87. Best wishes Mr. Mickey! For a patient with a walker – it is helpful to have a ‘basket’ to hang over the handles for transport small items (A book, phone, a bottle of water, piece of fruit, snacks, etc) when you need to use both hands on the walker. A quilted fabric placemat can be folded in half, sewn or glued up the sides, then ribbon sewn or glued at the open end to make hangers to attach to the front or side walker bars. So helpful!

  88. Hi Susan,

    I love your instructive videos on wardrobe as I am trying to pare mine down since I retired. Can you tell me, do you wear shorts, capris or crop pants?

    Thanks so much for sharing.
    I have no advice on caregiving other than to say that sometimes just doing what seems the most obvious is the thing to do when in doubt. Sometimes people aren’t so good at asking for their needs to be met.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Mr. Mickey.

    1. Hi Sharon, I haven’t worn shorts or capris in more than a decade. I do wear ankle-length pants or wide-leg crops, but they should end at the most slender part of my leg.

  89. I agree with many of the earlier comments – encourage him to be as independent as possible while staying safe. Also, if pain and discomfort are present and untreated, that hinders healing and the person can be irritable and unable to rest. Modalities such as medication, ice, exercises all may help and be necessary – toughing it out doesn’t help anyone – particularly the caregiver! Recovering from a traumatic injury is not always an even road – some days are better than others as I’m sure you all are finding out. As others have said, take advantage of the help that is available and dont hesitate to call the experts with questions or for advice. Best wishes to Mr. Mickey as he recovers and to you, too.

  90. I found an inexpensive Casio watch that had 5 alarms to help my nine year old daughter to check her blood sugars as a new type one diabetic. This would help Mr. Mickey with his meds or appointments.

  91. Susan, thank you for your openness and sharing. You emulate the strengths of an outstanding caregiver. Excellent strategies and you have a plan in place. Also, great advice from your followers. Blessings to you and Mr. Mickey.

  92. Bless you both, you are in my prayers. I had a daughter that was diabetic then developed blindness & kidney failure. I was frazzled holding down a full time job and a beautiful loving daughter that I so loved. I look back on this time now with her gone and so wish that I had been able to spend more quality time with her. So my advice to everyone is that as important are the meds, the food etc the very most important thing for you and who you are caring for is the quality of the time you spend with them.
    Susan, my thoughts and prayers are with you, Mr Mickey and your wonderful independent parents.
    Patricia

  93. God’s Blessings to All Of You & Prayers For Comfort & Peace…..❤️
    First Your Best Friend is a notebook for phone numbers & daily activities, especially what meds are prescribed & when taken. Everyone needs to write in this notebook what has been or needs to be done & times are crucial. Make sure to put down any changes to meds or activities. It’s even good to write down who does what, when, & why if appropriate. Wash your hands before & after you help & make sure Mr Mickey washes his hands also, even if it’s only hand sanitizer. God Speed……I’m a retired RN & have taken care of many patients & my Family…..❤️

  94. My husband had a tree fall on his foot two weeks ago. He is on crutches, can’t put weight on it. We are patient with each other. I’m not naturally a nurse and he hates being immobile, but it’s amazing how we are dealing with it. I’m able to walk every day. We can’t go out so that helps him deal with sitting most of the day.

  95. Hi Susan ,
    My very best wishes for Mr. Mickey’s speedy recovery. He looks wonderful. I have been a caretaker for a long time. I am a wife of 50 yrs. as of May 23rd., mom of
    4 and grandma of 10. Throw in a nurse/nurse practitioner for 40yrs. My advice to you would be to get as much help as possible. Review the discharge instructions Have Mr. Mickey ‘s daughter Or yourself call Medicare to see if he is entitled to a nurse or an aide to help with his needs. If not, and financially you can provide one, call a reputable home Care agency. It will be a break for everyone. In the meantime, relax. Just take his temp. Daily. And write it down. Please ask him to move as much as he can tolerate ,to prevent pneumonia., especially when he is in bed. . Perhaps you could jot down a little note on the calendar how his day went with temp , appetite , pain. This way you will have info. For the next doctor’s visit. Make sure everyone washes their hands often. Hope This doesn’t sound like a lecture. Just trying to provide assistance. Can’t wait to see future pics of your date nights. Wishing all of you the best. Rita B.

  96. You already shared the important tip I would give you. Make sure to take care of yourself. Next I would say you will NEVER regret being a caregiver for a loved one.

  97. Best wishes to you and to Mr. Mickey. I have always been the “not local” daughter/sister, so my job has been to be “cheerful”. I come up with long ago stories and escapades, and share a laugh with the loved one I’m calling. Luckily, I have quite a trove of tales, so I guess I’m the right one for that job! I hope Mr Mickey has that someone (you) to keep his spirits up (looks like it)!

  98. I’m so sorry, Susan, that you and Mr. Mickey are going through such a difficult recovery during the even more difficulty of this coronavirus situation. Sending you both love and strength.

  99. Mr. Mickey you are looking well. Susan you look very put together.
    I would say from experience with caregiving to keep your sense of humor. I also like to sing while doing things as that helps me feel happy while helping others.
    Good luck with everything.

  100. It think it is wonderful that Mr Mickey has you to support him back to full independence. Sometimes it can be necessary to encourage the pt to increase their independence and decrease their dependence on the carer, if you get my drift. Sometimes a pt becomes too used to being spoilt and needs a nudge to fly from the nest. We nurses call it learned helplessness. But I’m sure Mr Mickey will be biting at the bit to get back to full function.

  101. You are right, you must take care of the caregiver also. My advice also is to get any local help for seniors that is available. I was the sole caregiver for my husband when he was ill,and the respite help I received allowed me to go to my appointments and grocery shop knowing that he was well cared for. Although with covid19, this could be different right now! Still praying for Mr. Mickey, you and his daughter!

  102. When my husband had his hip replaced, we rented a reclining chair. It was a lifesaver. He napped great in it.

  103. I am sorry to read about your handsome man’s fall. I took care of my maternal grandfather the last five years of his life. He moved in with us. We were fortunate that we had an extra bedroom and bathroom for him to use all to himself. We earned quickly, no area rugs, they are trip hazards for seniors. The one thing that really stayed in my head, was his doctor telling me on more than one occassion, “To use it or lose it”. He said everything from your brain to each muscle and joint, keep them working. We were not built to be sedentary.

  104. Very glad to hear that Mr. Mickey is at home recuperating. Hopefully he will mend quickly. Sounds like you and his daughter are taking great care of him.

    Regarding your parents, make sure they are, indeed, handling properly such things as their finances. My dad and stepmom never said a word and appeared to have everything under control. My sister, while visiting them at their home, happened to notice that there appeared to be some sort of papers behind a bathtub shower curtain in the spare bathroom. She opened the curtain and found boxes and boxes of financial papers, and stocks and bonds! With their permission she started going through their finances and found that although they had living trusts, they had not moved assets into them. This could have turned into a horrible mess later on and it probably would have meant their estate going into probate.

  105. Hi Susan,
    I think you should put this message at the bottom of your posts.
    ” My looks rarely include new items, so I suggest similar current items. The shopping links in my posts may result in a small commission for me at no additional cost to you.”
    This are distracting (and annoying, I think, for people who often read your messages. We know,! We know! Now
    on to the message we’re interested in!

    You’re offering some good ideas. Don’t apologize for that!

    Glad Mr. Mickey is recovering.
    I agree, we need to put the “oxygen mask on ourselves first, then on our child or loved one.”
    (As we’re told during air travel.)
    But, there’s always a sacrifice later for caretakers that really doesn’t seem like a sacrifice because
    it’s done out of love. It’s those people who need uplifting messages you can give about self-care – it’s the
    little things that can remind them that they count, too. So, we shouldn’t give up on ourselves in the process
    of caring for others.

  106. Susan, I tried to read everyone’s suggestions so as not to repeat but I may anyway. 5 years ago my husband’s blood disorder, ITP, came out of remission after 35 years. The 1st line treatment was very high dosages of prednisone which led to many, many serious medical issues. The top 2 were prednisone induced myopathy (he could not walk for almost 2 years) and an misdiagnosed ulcer that ended up bleeding and literally caused him to bleed to death and having to be resuscitated. My adult son moved back home to help me care for him and he is now walking w/walker, although his doctors say he is still in recovery mode.
    Now that I have your attention here are some of my suggestions:
    1. Write down key words doctors use, then research on the Internet and read only verified medical sites.
    2. Don’t be afraid to ask LOTS of questions. If a doctor doesn’t like it…
    3. Change doctors, hospital, etc. Don’t be afraid. I learned too late for some issues that could have been prevented (It took us 3 hospitals and 3 hematologists, 2 heart doctors, 3 GI doctors, etc. before we got the “keepers” 2 years ago).
    4. Referring to #1: keep a notebook and paper calendar of appointments (nothing worse than not being able to pull up info in your 20 minute allotted appt.!), and a printed daily schedule of the “musts” as a reminder (we even set alarms – love my iPhone!): medicine, fluid intake, exercise, etc.
    5. IF you’d like to put the doors to rooms back on, install these hinges (They are sometimes called “swing clear” or “offset” door hinges.) and get the critical 1″ – 1.5″ that makes a HUGE difference when getting a walker or wheelchair through the door.
    https://www.lowes.com/pd/National-Hardware-3-5-in-H-Satin-Chrome-Radius-Exterior-Mortise-Door-Hinge/1000148767

    https://www.homedepot.com/p/HealthSmart-Brass-Expandable-Door-Hinge-Pair-640-2006-0000/203287078

    6. Unfortunately, I could go on and on but most important keep up your won interests and self-care. you are so correct “We can’t pour from an empty vessel.”.

    Good thoughts/prayers going yall’s way.

  107. Our family faced some dramatic changes when our Mom could no longer live on her own. The hardest part was getting everyone on the same page. I learned to write everything in a notebook from medical to financial. What helped her the most was the wonderful PT and OT that came to her house. They were specialized in home health for the elderly and had lots of experience and suggestions that I would have never even thought to ask about. It’s a very hard job but you will be glad you helped. Best wishes to both you and Mr Mickey.

  108. Thank you for your post during this very busy time. You look lovely. It is a testament to your friendship and caring. Just keeping it real, together with his daughter, learning as you go, is good enough. He will treasure all you do, supporting his recovery and return to independence.

  109. Awww…Mr. Mickey…love your smile! Sorry about the mishap but it looks like you are doing well. Thanks to Susan for posting – when my two kiddos were 1 and 2 my husband had a very bad accident…..so I know all about caretaking and then having more added rather suddenly. Best wishes to you both for a speedy recovery! And Susan you still look fabulous!

  110. Delighted to know that Mr. Mickey is finally home. He is fortunate to have family and close friends to help him along in his recovery. It sounds like you have a good grasp of what might be needed to get through the healing period. You are so right about the caregiver taking care of his/her needs in order to be effective in their role.

    Please pass along my best wishes and remind him of that old adage, “go slow to go fast,” as he regains his strength and mobility.

    AND–Just wanted to compliment you on the links you put in your blogs. Every one that I have ever tried has worked!

  111. Mr Mickey always has such a pleasant smile. How relieved he must be to be home especially at this time. Having prepared daily meals was very helpful to me as I recuperated from surgery. Blessing to you and Mr. Mickey.

  112. I have long thought there should be a National Caregiver Day of Honor.

    I am a caregiver for my 75-year-old husband who has cognitive decline and no longer drives. Unlike a broken bone (Sorry Mr. Mickey!) cognitive decline never goes away.

    TIP 01: is to be sure a loved one goes with the patient into the doctor’s room to be able to hear ALL that is said and to have a second set of eyes and ears to get the details. If the patient is in pain they might not hear all the instructions or they might forget.

    TIP 02: Then in the case of a broken bone look into Bi0-Identical hormones (BiO-TE Bio-identical Hormone Pellets.) Often as we age our bones deteriorate becasue we no longer absorb the nutrients we take in. Bio-identical hormones can “restructure” bone mass by 8%. This helps to prevent broken bones in the future and increases our quality of life in many ways. Functional Neurologist, Dr. David Permuttrer also believe that sufficient Estrogen and Progesterone can help to protect us from COVID 19 as well.

    Get well soon Mr.Mickey!!

    Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy | BioTE® Medicalwww.biotemedical.com › bioidentical-hormone-replace…
    Pellets are tiny, custom-compounded therapies for symptoms that stem from hormonal imbalances. The BioTE method may help keep patient’s hormone levels consistent throughout the day. The pellet therapy that BioTE trains on uses hormones that are bioidentical to those found in the human body.

  113. Mr. Mickey looks great…..you are taking good care of him Susan! My husband was my caregiver when I was very ill…..it is a 24|7 responsibility.

    Love your blog and seeing your photos.

    Blessings

  114. I was a caretaker for my late husband for many years. I found that preparing the house to make him comfortable was key to success. Had a shower chair in the walk in shower was a life saver. Had bathrooms installed with rails for holding on into the shower and toilet. Hope he will be well soon. Take care.

  115. Dear Susan, I wish Mr Micky a speedy and full recovery! Your kindness is so evident.
    An occupational therapist strongly encouraged we put our microwave on the counter top to prevent hot spills. That was an easy change in the kitchen.~~love your posts!~~karen

  116. Susan,
    I have found that the loved one needs you to spend some time with them such as sitting, talking and just being there until they can fend for themselves. They will go through many trials especially in their mind while healing.

    I wish Mr. Mickey speedy healing.

    Kathy Darr

  117. Prayers for your patience and empathy while you are caregiving. In the best of times it can be quite the challenge. Mr. Mickey is blessed to have you near. I hope his recovery is a smooth one.
    I understand your situation with your parents; both of mine are 88 years young and very independent. I am very thankful they do for themselves, but especially during this time when they are at risk, I wish they would let me do more for them.
    I am a fairly new subscriber and always enjoy your articles and look forward to seeing your selected outfits.

  118. You look gorgeous, as always, Susan. Caregiving must agree with you! Seriously, I know it’s a very difficult challenge, but Mr. Mickey is so fortunate to have you taking care of him. Here’s wishing him a very speedy recovery. Just be sure to take time for yourself, as you know. We’re thinking of you both!

  119. I pray everyday that one of us won’t need to see the doctor for anything. It is hard to be a caregiver. My husband fell and was paralyzed a few years ago, for about six weeks. We were blessed that he recovered quickly and by the time we left rehab, he was walking but left with a limp. I gave him a bell to let me know when he needed me to help him. Stay safe and keep a positive outlook. This too shall pass.
    Your hair looks great! I need a haircut but my hairdresser is at home like the rest of us. Thanks for sticking with us. I know it’s hard to do right now.

  120. Susan,
    Sounds like Mr. Mickey is in good hands. Thanks for sharing his photo. Wishing him a speedy recovery.

  121. Oh we hope Micky is recovering fast with your love and support It’s tuff when a loved one has fallen … Keep moving dude

  122. Best regards to dear Mr. Mickey! He looks great! It is very trying to be a caregiver, you are doing a fabulous job. It’s a blessing his daughter and you are there for him. We keep learning in this life, don’t we? Blessings!

  123. Susan, you look as beautiful as ever. By taking care of your appearance, it must make Mr Mickey cheerful, too. Maybe he has a favourite dressy shirt or sweater that he could wear and these might lift his spirits during his convalescence. As many people have been saying during these Covid-19 days, don’t get into a rut by dressing in sloppy clothes. Wear the nicer stuff, too. I realize that Mr Mickey must be comfortable, but feeling good about yourself when you have an injury and/or health issue can help your emotional health. Wishing you, Mr Mickey and his daughter only the best!

  124. Ah, the caregiver: From 20 years of caring for my mother and mother-in-law: 1) When you go over to clean their house, don’t rush about straightening things up. Let them think that you came to visit them instead of to do their chores so they can feel less of a burden, eg. “Let’s have some coffee!” (and then grab the old newspapers as you walk into the kitchen). Also, fast action is tiring for the elderly. And don’t ask if they want you to do something like change the cat litter box, just do it. 2) If you help them to the bathroom, don’t stay there and watch or check your makeup! Leave them some dignity. Go away for 5 minutes and them verbally check on them around the corner. And while you’re gone, clean something! 3) Remember to put fresh water in one of those cups with a top and straw beside their favorite place to sit. Dehydration can lead to falls. 4) If the person you’re caring for lives with you, don’t give them their meals separately. Move a card table into their bedroom if you have to and eat together. 5) If you have to change your parent’s diapers and they’re embarrassed, remind them of how you owe them for all of YOUR diapers that they changed. That usually gets a smile. 6) Whatever the age of the person you care for, bring photos. It’s enjoyable for both of you to look through them and helps start conversations when you can’t think of something to talk about. It really doesn’t matter if the person you care for can see them clearly, just describe the memories. 7) If the person you’re caring for needs new clothes, present the clothes with an enthusiastic “I was at the mall looking for a blouse to go with my new skirt and look what I found! This is the perfect color for you! and I found matching pants, too!” It’s all about letting them keep their dignity, not feel like a burden, and feel loved.

  125. Yes, I remember doing all those things for my children and my parents . But it was something I did with love. And I never regretted giving up things I liked to do. After my kids were grown and my parents passed away, I had plenty of time to indulge myself . Mr Mickey is lucky to have you and his daughter. Hope he is back to normal soon!

  126. Always, be patient and caring even if you are exhausted and frustrated. Broken bones will heal but harsh words can leave deep scars.
    Now may be the time to buy a jigsaw puzzle. It’s something Mr Mickey can do to pass the time or it can give the caregiver a break also.
    Wishing you both well and enjoy your blog
    Kay

  127. Susan, Thanks for posting the picture of Mr. Mickey, it is great to see him looking comfortable and happy. God bless him in his recovery and God bless you as you help him recover. I was a long term caregiver in my home for both my parents and mother-in-law. One thing I learned was to listen to what the patient wanted and try to adapt that with what is actually best for them. Sometimes that can be a challenge. You and his daughter are doing a great job as his caregivers. The relaxed smile on Mr. Mickey’s face says he is happy and content because his needs are being met.
    My suggestion would be for him to get a one button emergency call alert to wear while he is alone. Even though he has a phone it is much simpler to push a button than to call on a phone. Anyone can get disoriented during an emergency, pushing one button works best and could also be peace of mind for caregivers.

  128. I applaud your devotion to Mr. Mickey dear one! Please send him my get well wishes. I too chose not to have children nor have I been ‘in charge’ of anyone’s life other than my own. In the winter of 2017, at 84, my dear mother (who lived alone across the road) suffered a stroke and from that day on my life suddenly changed – into a caregiver! My older sister moved in to lend her assistance and between the 2 of us we managed & learned how to care for an invalid. Unfortunately, my Mom’s brain was injured beyond her ability to improve – she passed away peacefully last November with both of us daughters by her side. With your & his daughter’s ministrations, and a strong will, I am betting Mr. Mickey’s leg will heal, he will regain his strength and his injury won’t affect his life permanently. I’m sure he’ll let you know how much he appreciates you! And yes, do take the extra time you need to care to your own needs too! I’m continuously learning at 63; my husband is 14 years older than I so expect someday I’ll be a caretaker again, but who knows; life is uncertain. Enjoy it while we can is our motto! Here’s sending virtual hugs to you both!

  129. I’ve recently discovered your blog and have enjoyed reading your fashion tips. Recently retired, I am adapting my very casual work attire to everyday. Your advice on building a wardrobe around simple basics and accessories has shown me how to use what I already have to create ‘outfits’ that are appropriate in many settings. Thank you!
    Good to hear Mr Mickey is on the mend! I have been a primary caregiver for my husband for the past 17 years. He suffered a spinal cord injury and as a result is wheelchair bound. I am happy to share some tips that I have found helpful. Your comments about removing doors, rugs and anything that can cause a trip or bump are spot on. I would suggest also arranging frequently used kitchen/bathroom items in a handy location (taking things off top and bottom shelves and putting them in a more accessible location – easy to see/and easy to reach). Reusable cups with lids for water /drinks that help prevent spills and can be kept in a convenient areas (daytime living area – kitchen and bedroom) and not require someone to refill and move constantly. A lightweight vest with pockets or something like a fanny pack that can hold phone, pens, meds, notes and even a snack can be convenient for Mr Mickey to have with him at all times. Physical therapy will help tremendously with his recovery, but they can also give you pointers as you assist him (to prevent injury for you!). PT can also offer tips for assisting someone in and out of your car. I found that having a large plastic trash bag on seat makes it so much easier for your passenger to pivot in seat.
    And finally, as we age our skin becomes thinner. Mr Mickey will be sitting much more as he recovers. It’s important for him to keep repositioning to prevent skin breakdown on his backside. Physical Therapy can also address preventive steps for that as well.
    Being a caregiver is hard! You are called on to do for and anticipate every need for a loved one. You not only have to support them – you have to cheer them on during the tough days. You’ll be cook/cleaner/chauffeur/friend/second set of ears/and companion. It’s exhausting. Better days ahead!!
    Good luck and prayers for A speedy
    Recovery.

  130. My 72 year old husband had a massive heart attack on April 8 and triple bypass surgery a few days later. The hardest part at that time was not being allowed in the hospital, which meant I had very little information. His recovery at home has been amazing. I took over the grocery shopping and cooking, which have been his retirement interests! He still needs assistance with most things, but he is off of the walker now. So, yes, you never know when you may be called upon to be a caregiver, so keep yourself as healthy as possible!

  131. Blessings to you and Mr. Mickey! He’s blessed to have you and his daughter helping. My suggestions would be to be clear on what needs or is expected to be done and clearly divide duties either daily or accordingly. With my brother and I helping out my mom, when she gets really sick or down, we’ll keep a diary in a neutral place to keep track of what’s being done or has been done. And, yes, take care of yourself!
    One of these days, I am going to get that beautiful Native Nordgreen watch!

  132. Sending healing wishes to Mr Mickey. It sounds as if you are doing everything possible. The main thing is to acknowledge you are doing your best and don’t be overcome with guilt that you can’t change the situation. We independent, in charge people think we can fix everything and it is just not possible.

  133. SUSAN
    THE PATIENT WILL RECOVER WELL WITH PHYSIO AND HIS EXERCISES
    A SUGGESTION A CHAIR WITH MORE SUPPORT WOULD BE HELPFUL THAN THE COUCH
    YOU LOOK WELL AND MIND YOURSELF
    ANN

  134. Dear Susan,
    Same thing happened to my father at the same age as Mickey. I was the local daughter. I think my guiding lesson came from his visiting nurse: “remember he hates not being in control of his own life so give him as much to do as you can. ”
    I had him going through boxes of stuff in his closet to give away, throw away or keep. I had him folding laundry. He helped with the cooking by chopping at a little reading table with a cutting block. He needed to be needed so I needed him. After a time, he stopped being so much the patient and became a different kind of participant. He recovered.

    Bless that Santa Claus and here’s to a quick recovery for him too.

    Carolyn

  135. Thank you for the update on Mr. Mickey! I have been thinking about him, and am glad to know he’s doing well. At least during these times, he’s not the only one who’s spending a lot of time at home. Best wishes to both of you!

  136. Mr Mickey is looking good, and in good spirits (maybe from the wine) . And of course you always look fabulous. Take care.

  137. You are both in my prayers. It is very hard caring for a loved one. But yes, take care of yourself also.
    Take care and stay safe.
    Marie Letizia Sheridan

  138. My brother and I took care of our Mother for thirteen years. Get a life line for Mr Mickey. He can push it if he happens to need someone!!!!

  139. You might interested in perusing the article
    “ THE SELF DEFENSE OF CAREGIVERS – USING MARTIAL ARTS PRINCIPLES TO REGAIN YOUR FOOTING AS A CAREGIVER” at sixtyandme.com

  140. In a wheelchair so know WELL what a house needs for the handicapped & hope this helps. Lower the bathroom vanity mirror! When we go into ANY hotel the 1st thing I do is to see if my MAJOR pet peeve has been addressed in their ‘accessible’ bathroom’! I check/see if I can see the top of my head! WAY too many times I’ve had to brush my teeth ‘blind’! The best EVER seen is the accessible condo we rent for FL ‘ snowbirding’-has a mirror that tilts off the wall over the sink!

  141. Being a caregiver for a loved one is good and blessed.
    You have always the right life wisdom (I think): “We can’t pour from an empty vessel.”
    Sometimes a “professional ” help is better than ours, for the patient too.
    Your white blue outfit is perfect .

  142. All my best to Mr Mickey and to you as he continues to recover from his injury!! I enjoy your blogs so much / I’m in northern Minnesota and find that your blog has inspired me & continues to inspire me every day. Thank you!! You have inspired me to shop my own closet, permission to let go of clothing that is “ho-hum” and try new combinations..
    please keep posting! I’m one if your loyal fans!!

  143. I have raised children, am helping to raise grandchildren, I have nursed my spouse, my terminally ill parents and helped with my mother in law. In a word — patience. And get some sleep.

  144. May God bless Mr Mickey with healing and a strong will to get through this difficult journey. To lose your independence is tremendously hard and to become dependent is yet, another challenge. So thankful you and his daughter are able to help him with this. No one knows what role caregivers play until it is thrust upon them.

    Prayers for you all.

  145. Hi Susan, Thank you so much for continuing to post your blog. I really look forward to reading it and picking up lots of lovely fashion tips. So glad to hear Mr Mickey is now home What a super happy chap he looks and no wonder why with two gorgeous ladies to help him with his recovery. I think the important thing when caring for someone is to always enable them to do as much as they are able to for themselves. It’s never a good idea to encourage someone to become dependant . Take care of yourself

  146. Hi Susan & Mr Mickey, have jugs/bottles of water in all the rooms, as it’s essential to keep hydrated and if your mobility is compromised, then getting to a tap can be a problem. Best wishes to your both.

  147. Hello Susan,

    I understand when you have never cared for another person’s on going needs. It is an adjustment. I love what you said,
    “There is one more crucial thing to add to that list of things a caregiver should do. Take care of your needs and health
    first. We can’t pour from an empty vessel”. This is so true, I more than get it. We all have our stories to share and tell
    in this regard. I have two family members that are struggling with cancer, and it’s heart wrenching. I feel like my heart
    is in constant prayer, plus all the beautiful lives that have been taken because of this invisible monster, the coronavirus.
    We have two doctors in our family that work at Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills, CA. We are well informed and over the top careful. It sounds like you are as well from your sentiment.

    Take care of yourself and your sweetheart Mr. Mickey. You are blessed to have one another. I am sure he is very
    grateful to have your and his daughter looking after him. When you are loved and well looked after it really is a huge benefit.

    Warmly,
    Katherine
    in Arizona

  148. My dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma in May last year. He chose Hospice at home and I left my family and went to look after him. It was the toughest thing I have ever done but also the most rewarding. Being a caretaker is tough but it gives you the opportunity to show the love you feel for your person. My best tips are keep your sense of humor. We laughed a lot during such a difficult time. Make a little time for yourself every day, you cannot give from an empty cup. I lost my Dad in July but I cherish the time I had with him more than anything. Good luck!

  149. Your blog has really helped me to change the way I look at clothing I am removing from my closet as well as future purchases. You really have helped me look at what to wear as well as how to wear it. Thank you.

  150. So glad to see Mr M on the mend. Warm wishes to you both.
    As for advice, I try to treat others as I would wish to be treated, always remembering their tastes may be different!

  151. I have been taking care of my dad since August. Prior to that my in-laws. It’s a gift to be able to serve but you must take care of yourself. Drinks lots of water, eat well, try to get good sleep. Get dressed and ready even I casual clothes. If they’re in a hospital or care facility I dress in business or casual business attire. They take you more seriously. (I also attend daily Mass at my church, currently live stream, for the most part, for quiet prayer time). Plan menus ahead so you don’t have to “what is for dinner?” When I have “nervous energy”, I clean – even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes. My mom was in nursing home, my husband, my dad and I would go almost every day (around work schedules), but tragically she passed on May 1st, my birthday, due to COVID. Thank you for your uplifting posts. I’m very grateful for your hard work.

  152. Also, I was in Mr Mickeys positions bout two years ago. I kept books, phone, notepad and paper nearby. iPad too. Tv remote and a list of things to do for the day! Sending much love.

  153. Susan, I can so appreciate your situation . I.know the wide range of feelings you’re going through. I am.a 69 year old widow and live in Ohio..My 40 year old special needs son.lives with me as he has since birth. He is an interesting and talented guy, a violinist, who is on the autism spectrum . Last September he also fell and had what was called a traumatic break.in his right leg. We were blessed to have a Cleveland Clinic surgeon who specializes in traumatic breaks do his surgery. I, too. removed rugs. cleared paths and did everything my son had previously helped me do. I too was exhausted . Try to rest. Cut corners. Give yourself permission to be imperfect! Eat well. Treat yourself to a walk. Encourage his independence! It DOES get better. Kathy Hoff

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I blogged for five years as Fifty, not Frumpy. Now that I am in my sixties, I am sharing ideas and inspiration for using and loving what you already have.

Thank you!
Susan

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