Saying Goodbye

I remember my grandmother telling me that one of the hardest things about living in your nineties is having to say goodbye to all those from your generation who pass before you. Last week made me feel as if I had suddenly turned ninety.

Losing loved ones, dear friends, or pets can take away our sparkle for a long time. I fully understand why people wear black or other somber colors when they are grieving. Even a brightly colored scarf seemed like too much last week.

When Mr. Mickey wanted to take me out to dinner on Wednesday, I knew he wanted to lift my spirits. It was time to change emotional gears and move forward. Wearing my favorite blue/black/charcoal jacket by BCBGMAXAZRIA and other comfortable black pieces I often reach made getting dressed easier. The pants are old from Chico’s. The bag is old from Saks Off 5th. The low boots are by Gianni Bini from Dillard’s last year.

In memory of Linda Tipton, Willie Zuniga, Jack Seaton, and Mr. Beasley. Each of you made the world a much better place while you were here.

  1. Dear Susan; I am so sorry you have had such sadness recently. Glad you had Mr. Mickey to help you through. New week now and still a long way to 90!

  2. Beautifully written tribute, Susan. I understand. I have lost 2 cousins in the past month plus the death of our daughter’s partner in May. It has been a rough year.

  3. I’m sorry for your loss. I realized when I turned 60 that my life was now about “goodbyes “ instead of “hellos”. Once you accept what is, it’s a little easier to move on with Grace

  4. Unfortunately, grief is the price for loving, whether it is people or pets. It’s so hard. And sad. I’m more aquainted with grief than I’d like to be, but so thankful for the good times too. Sorry for your “good-byes” this past week although there is no timeline for grief. So take your time saying goodbye.

    P.S. Love the jacket. You wear it well!

  5. So sorry for your tremendous loss. Keeping special memories close to your heart can help each day. Missed seeing your posts…..and pretty smile.

  6. Condolences for losing ones you cared about. Unfortunately, at our age, it seems to happen more frequently than not. I’m shocked at how many of my high school graduating class are gone. But, yes, you do move on and continue to live your life. You are lucky to have Mr. Mickey by your side.

  7. We are at that age when, unfortunately, this scene will unfold time after time. My husband and I have lost 5 friends in the past 2 months…it’s tough! My condolences.

  8. Susan, I am so sorry for your recent losses. You are such a sweet and compassionate person and I am glad you had Mr Mickey to nurture you through this understandable sadness.

  9. As an artist, I have made something of a study of colors and how they effect our lives. I have read — and I do believe — wearing the color black allows us to keep our own energy within. Grieving is a time when we truly need to conserve our energy, as it is often taking all we have just to get by. Wearing black during times of grief has proven soothing to me, as I am realizing I am doing what I can to take care of myself during a very difficult time. I am so sorry for you loss.

  10. So sorry for your losses. I lost a dear friend in a tragic accident that I still can not wrap my head around. Take care…..

  11. My most sincere condolences, Susan, on your losses. I hope that soon you will have only happy memories when you think of these people who have been so important to you.

  12. Sending. a virtual hug, Susan.
    Seeing relatives in their 80s in rapid decline meant saying goodbye,

    Thank you for the advice about The Martha. Lovely place. Driving rain kept us inside, but dinner at Sisters Grill was excellent.

  13. It is hard to say good bye. Something we never want to do. I hold onto my faith that one day it will be hello again. And it makes me smile. You are in my thoughts and prayers Susan.

  14. I’m so sorry for your loss. I find it so hard to move on after a loss but that day does come. Every day is a gift!

  15. I am saddened to hear about your friends. It is truly a hard part of this stage of our lives. It does serve as a reminder that all things are temporary and we need to cherish those we love while we are together because our time together is measured. My sincere condolences.

  16. Susan, you have our condolences! Your grandmother was a wise woman and so are you. Our friends enrich our lives and should be remembered with smiles and a toast. Their spirit will live on in all who loved them. After my husband passed on, I put his smiling picture in a frame that read “Thanks for everything …I had a wonderful time” Makes me smile every time I see it. Just know that we all care about you!

  17. So sorry. It is tough the older you get. So many dear ones with illness or worse. You’re lucky to have Mickey.

  18. You scared me too as I thought you were saying “goodbye” to your page. I’m sorry for your sadness. My Mom is in her 90’s and has lost many if not most of her friends. Then, boredom begins to set in. It’s not easy by any means. I guess when we feel sad, we should accept those feelings for a time and reflect.

  19. It is hard to say goodbye! As we get older, it seems to occur more often and each loss is devastating. My grandmother lived to be 95 and she was resentful she had to be friends with people her childrens’ age, but turned right to and made those friends.

  20. PS We must enjoy living longer though when we think of all the people we have known who have not had that privilege.

  21. You certainly characterized that feeling accurately and I thank you for that. We lost a very dear friend a few weeks back and were feeling very ‘blue’ and unsettled. Thanks for giving words to that feeling. I appreciate the generosity of your sharing it.

    Rosemary Breehl

  22. My own mother lived into her late 90s, and she not only had to say goodbye to many of her generation, but also to younger generations as well. That seemed so hard to me. Wishing you peace and fond memories of your loved ones.

  23. I hope some rays of sunshine are coming your way today. Yes…part of life is loving and saying hurts. Who we are and our hearts are imprinted forever by all who have touched our lives. With the age of technology, even our cyber friends have an impact. My heart sank when I read your title…I thought you were telling us goodbye…no more blogs. Your sharing encourages many. I hope today, we can all be an encouragement to you…sending cyber hugs Susan.

  24. I’m so sorry Susan. As I approach 70, I have had to come to an uneasy acceptance of the inevitable loss of family members and friends. It certainly is a challenge. My best to you as you deal with grief.

  25. Like many others I was afraid from the headline that you were “Saying Goodbye” to all of us who faithfully read your email before any others and relish the wisdom you share with us. I would never have thought to wear dark blue with black and that outfit is wonderful.

    One of the ladies commented that black helps conserve our energy. That was a revelation that completely resonated with me. I learn from the amazing group of ladies that follow you as well.

    Thank you, Susan.

  26. Susan, my deepest sympathies. As usual, you present yourself, your outfits, and your life in the most tasteful and delicate way. Dark blue with black is perfect.

  27. I know words cannot take the pain away but sometimes knowing others care helps in our grief. Hugs to you in your losses.

  28. My deepest sympathies. You make so many people feel better about themselves all the time. You give us hope that we can start liking ourselves again. Big hugs to you! I hope your time of sadness is short-lived and you can smile when you think of each one and the goodness they brought to your life.

  29. It was so sad to hear about Willie. What an artist she was. I’m sorry for all your losses Susan. Take care of yourself. Love, Margaret

  30. You scared me with that Title! I thought you were saying goodbye to all of us readers of your blog…I was glad that wasn’t it but I am very sad for your recent losses…Losing dear friends and family takes a hunk from our hearts, and leaves us grieving and sad …Good memories of them and the difference they made in your life as well as others is a good thing to be with in your heart! Take care! My deepest sympathy….

  31. Susan, I’m sorry for so much loss and heartbreak for you lately. Wishing you peace and comfort. ❤️❤️

  32. Dear Susan

    I am sorry for your loss of dear friends and loved ones. Take care of yourself and other loved ones at this sad time. Remember the good times. Deb

  33. Susan, I am sorry for your losses. As I am in my mid-60s, I have said good-bye to more loved ones than I expected I would have to at this stage in life. You’ve probably heard the story of the church lady and the fork: At church dinners, everyone was encouraged to “save their forks” after the main meal because the best (dessert) was yet to come. Knowing that the best was waiting for her after this life, she wanted to be buried holding a fork in her hand. So, hang on to your fork. Sadness is temporary!

  34. You are right in that it gets harder to lose those we love as we age. At first it was my friends parents, now it is my friends. Thinking of you and hoping for better weeks ahead.

  35. I am sorry for your sadness and loss. I read a tribute yesterday that touched me. It said, “Your wings were ready but our hearts were not.” This is so often true.

  36. Dear Susan,

    Sorry for your loss. Time helps heal the heart, but the heart never forgets.

    Katie Thomas

  37. Oh, Susan. I had not read this when I talked to you today. John knew Jack Seaton. He may have known some of the other people you mentioned here, too. We both know and sympathize with your feelings. Hopefully, the gloom is lifting. These important people in your life would want that to be the case. Remember the happiness you shared with them and let your heart be lifted. I know they want that for you.

    Love and hugs,


  38. I’m sorry you just lost some dear friends. It is very hard. I am in that same boat and always remember that grief is the price we pay for love. However, not ever having those people to love would be worse than losing them.

  39. I am sorry for your loss. My mother lived to 94. Years before she always said she didn’t want to be the last one left! Her blessing was she lost her memory and she forgot she was the last one left.

  40. I am so sorry for your loss. I didn’t know about Willie since I don’t have my jewelry shop any more. She was a wonderfully inspiring lady and no one who met her went away the same.

  41. Susan, I’m so sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration to so many. I wish I were there to give you a hug. One of your friends you you haven’t met yet. Connie Briggs, Anderson, SC

  42. So sorry for you losses. We all care how you are doing in this time of loss. It’s nice to see all the wonderful women whom support you and whom you have enriched our lives with your blog. Thank you for sharing your true feelings.

  43. I agree with you, Susan, about losing our sparkle when a loved one passes on. Realizing we are getting to the front of the line is sobering. Each day is precious and we honor their memory by living the best life we can.

  44. So sorry for your losses, dear Susan. I emphasize with you. As we age, sadly, we experience such loss, more than we care to. Sadness comes with the loss of ones we have loved and shared
    good memories with, so I like to celebrate those times we had together.. Hard now, but time heals…with joy that they were in our lives,…not an easy thing to do. I like lighting a candle in my home to remember them…and send prayer their way…and for me…as I work to accept they are no longer here. I know I can talk to them, anytime. I do BELIEVE they are around us and we will see them again…

  45. So sorry for your losses. A great big hug to you from all your readers! We understand and look forward to your sparkle returning soon! Much love!

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I share tips and inspiration for using what you already have in contemporary ways. Defining words include effortless, classic, refined, discreet, and elegant. My style is chic, minimal, and timeless with a bit of edge.